why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
