wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
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