and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
