her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
