that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize