HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I wish there were birth control emojis
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
