Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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