i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
