And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
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