Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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