come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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