i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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