whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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