She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
