its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
