Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
