i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Dicks are not precious.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
