You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
