Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Randomize
