you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I wish you could order shots online.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
