More tranny stories later!
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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