i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
