If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
