Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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