what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
