If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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