Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
