sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
