happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I'm just crazy horny about you
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Randomize
