Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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