Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
