Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
one two three fourrrrnication!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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