Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Randomize
