I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
