Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
