Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
