His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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