the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
