Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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