check it out our google latitudes are spooning
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
