FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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