There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize