Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
