Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
So squirting runs in the family.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
