Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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