Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Little spoons don't ask big questions
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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