What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
