Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize