Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
