Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
