i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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