My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
