If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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