I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
