Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
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