im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
