just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
