You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
