Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
