Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
This toilet bowl is my home.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
