I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
